life of varians

We never really live our life, in reality life lives in each and every one of us. Burdens in life are created through the past, what we perceive of what people are and their roles in our life. The truth is simple, the past has ceased to being present, and it does not have the strength to be present, so therefore it is of not here and no longer available now.

Let go of these burdens, they are but memories, to make us a better Being, but they hold no importance at this instant. When people are in relationships with others, they set up a set of illusions of what these people are and also about themselves. So when two people are seeing each other, actually there are 4 sets of beings conjugated there. To accept someone in our life is to share and empathize, do that for yourself and also to others, feel what people around you feel, especially the closest ones. Don’t only react on for your own part; selfless-ness is true love. By lessening the word of: “I” and “me”; rephrase the using of self justification will make us able to embrace love and happiness in our heart.

Ego in every human has made us think that we have significance in others’ life, which created more burdens. Be true to yourself, you have been questioning “Who am I?” question throughout your life time. The first step of sensing the “true self” is by stopping to define who we are. Why? Because by doing so, we are limiting our selves with words, by labeling each actions and only creating more problems for the soul and mind. Why should we understand who we are? There is no need to define ourselves. When the “strive” of defining stops, then a form of relieve is formed.

Realization of none as a form of life, release us from being selfish. By exercising to keep a track of consciousness at each time your heart feels hurt, will lessening the pain we meet each day. Anger will diminished surely and ego no longer has control of our life.

Enjoy and lets life be…

Inspired by Eckahrt Tolle (A New Earth), a very good read indeed

Travelings have been my home for the past 3 years, now I finally have the chance to actually leaving all this and start real life. The steps that I am about to take, they are all the thing that my heart is leaning to. They may not be the same as what I would have taken years ago.

After the misty mornings of Weimar, the rising sun in the East made me wonder of the view from the world. I see the moon in half form tonight, high above the dark blue sky, the type that could only be seen in less populated area in Java. Where I could watch it rising slowly in the night. I have no worries that it will be there again tommorrow, when finally I will be flying accross the continent and sea to my root of life, and so why should the poet in me died? Well to tell you the truth, the realism in me kind of stands out in the last days of my stay in Germany.

There is this side of me, itching to care free of what my life is about, which I have the answer: it is what it is now. I need not to think of whether or not things are taking right or wrong courses. They are what they are. Living on hopes, dreaming on wakes, planning on toughts.

Each of this action straight out the way my world has evolved, now that the paces have been slightly going faster, there was this need to actually contemplate. How far have I gone from I was before? Living is about doing good deeds for people we care about, tenderly treating them, purely caring them, and at times, having less time, we haven’t really done much for those really important ones, especially your own self.

How do we feel about what is happening, whether or not, the words of wisdom seeped into our heart, implemented in our daily actions. Have we been a better person throughout the time? That question could only be answered by those who surrounds you. Home is where the heart is… Have we found home, yet?

The more words you have written the more responsibility you should handle. That what made me stop writing all together this several weeks. I felt that I haven’t been able to keep up my wisdom and therefore trampled down to the nearness of nothing.

My words became meaningless, my days blurry and all that I need to have and know suddenly pop into my soul as if I am connected with wireless LAN to the people I missed so much at my home land.

Time is nearing to an end again, the chapter in this part of the world is about to be closed as the leaves turning their colors to deadly yellow, red and brown. Certainly they all look beautiful and it is a promise that they will rise again after Winter, but I won’t be here to witness it.

And so I proclaim that this Poet is dying almost at the most accute paces. Strangled out of air from her surrounding, can no longer feel what she needs to be feeling, only the time so limited she has. Yearning for life to give her another chance to visit this land of beauty; Europe.

By the death of the trees she will leave the country… and thus, leaving traces of her truthful words and feelings; love of this land, air and all between them.

There’s a light of each day that come penetrates my window blind and it harmoniously say: Welcome to a New Day, My Dear…

These faithful minutes before the real Sun goes up in the sky is my favorite time. I don’t mean to re-create because God is the most benevolent creators of all. Planning my journeys are always good, but things have changed. These plans need to align with needs of special someone. I need to refocus and compromise.  And I am sure that there are things to settle for the best, by accepting these facts. The best thing in it is that I’ve found my best friend in you. I think that time would never be enough to venture the world, but never is the same when I’m around my loved ones.

I miss you all… Thousands of kilometers barred our encounters and these times are actually when I feel want to be closed to you. Doing prayers together, eat at around tables, chats and laughs, all that I miss from home. Yes, it is a lovely day out here, but it would be so nice if I could share it all with you.

Have a wonderful Ramadhan to you all and do apologize all my wrong doings, may this month be a month of enlightenment and full of care and love. ..

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my ways are certainly weird…

last night when i tried to sleep, i couldn’t well do it instantly. there was a moth in my room. this sort of thing happens quite often to me, butterfly or moth coming and staying in my room, they said it’s a good omen. well, hopefully this one is. it flew so near the ceiling last night that he thought his shadow was a also a moth. so, he knock him self against my ceiling every so often. at first, i thought, silly stupid moth. that thing you hit was just a shadow. but, suddenly i realize. to my eyes, even as human, if pay more intention to the moth hitting my concrete ceiling to its shadow, i could see that the shadow was so real, it could be mistaken for reality. then, that was when i realize my self, how peculiar things were.

i did exactly what that poor animal did, hitting nothingness; shadows against my reality. the further the moth flew to the reflection media (as in this matter the ceiling) the more real it comes to look like alive. the more it flew toward the light, then shadow is diminishing. so, i made up my mind, if a moth could see what he needs to do to avoid his own shadow, why am i not able to? it was because i was leaning to much to the reflection media. i should embrace the light even more, to shine on my life on each corner, not to let shadow won me. so, i would like to see, if you could also do the same.

the steps are done, the lights are near. reality, now and the coming, i embrace you. i admit, i did make things so you feel how i felt when you reached into shadow, exactly that and i don’t want to go back. let’s move forward, no more dizziness…

It’s a wonderful feeling when the world is making friends with you. Days went on continously, finishing writing and perfecting it over and
over again. Chatted to love ones, enjoying the affections of others. And I just found a single thread of blond hair on my head. Weird!! Just as the night air cooled down, a form of colours emerged out of my window. At first, it was of no importance. But then it happens again, I became aware of its true form.

They were bubbles, came out from the window underneath my room, and as
it filling up my window frame, I put at each bubble my hopes and wishes.What form would a memory took place in our thoughts; will they appear
as bubbles and soon to be bursted by the wind or would it  be a sticky
glue? And the answer is, they were just bubbles, pop up and then just
ruined, nothingness is the beginning of life.

Making mistakes to be less profound and sufficiently blocking my own view of virtues.  And so, the life begin on the 1st day of meeting drawn up in one’s heart. That was when life started anew…

I gave daisies to people I cared. In form of smiles, jokes, or even just a mere hi. But, you see, some times, technology could ban us from doing so. And whenever this happen I would understand that you stop sending your daisies. I could still feel them whenever you remember me, though.

Summer has come and go, like yoyo this year. Some times the sun burns my skin, other times, the cool wind is chiller and bit my skin. Extremes they are, I do believe this is but reasons to maintain such perfect days. Just like those daisies we give to people, each of them would sum up to a field of white flowers on sunny summer day.

Today I just finished my 4th chapter, it felt relieved, though this time I couldn’t celebrate it in the way I want to. Daisies of smiles are sent to all of you…

There were times when we were just young architecture students; skecthes were the most important things of all, rulers and drawing pens were our weapons, and dreams big ones.. And now my friends most of you are having your own worlds, leaving not many of us. I am glad to know this and share my happiness for all the great news.

Throughout my days, when I thought, I needed no one, deep down, I envy those who have their partners at the ready. Be thankful of what you have, they are your match and your souls are entangled in destiny. Work it out whenever you have troubles, love conquers all. Remember that you are now ‘complete’ as human and with that there is nothing more to add in your life and happiness will be your beliefs.

So, if in the future you forget this, do remind your self, no oe wants to live alone. We are all but souls in need of comfort from one another, and to you my lucky friends who have found your partner in life, in those you love anchored your passions, care and time. Share each time of your life and be greatful towards it.

To you married couples or soon to be married

and those who are not yet there, hopefully all will find their missing souls somewhere out there, soon….

Artist: Renee Olstead
Song: A Love That Will Last

I want a little something more
Don’t want the middle or the one before
I don’t desire a complicated past
I want a love that will last

Say that you love
Say im the one
Don’t kiss and hug me and then try to run
I don’t do drama
My tears don’t fall fast
I want a love that will last

(Chorus)
I don’t want a just a memory
Gives me forever
Don’t even think about saying good-bye
Cuz i want just one love to be enough
And remain in my heart till i die

So call me romantic
Oh i guess that must be so
Theres something more that you oughta know
I’ll never leave you
So don’t even ask
I want a love that will last

Forever
I want a love that will last
I want a love that will last

(Chorus)
I don’t want a just a memory
Gives me forever
Don’t even think about saying good-bye
Cuz i want just one love to be enough
And remain in my heart till i die

So theres little more that i need
I wanna share all the air you breathe
I’m not the kinda girl to complicate the past
I want a love that will last

Forever
I want a love the love that last
Always
I just want a love that will last
Want a love that will last

Music